In the early days of civilization, people were struggling with life and needed to cope with surviving. They were able to understand the requirements of being spouses and parents. Their behaviour was family orientated and they embraced family values. Raising a family was something both parents were involved in. The feminine (wife) and masculine (husband) within the family unit were balanced.
Unconditional love was evident between partners. There was family stability. Society was raised on ethics, morals, values, respect, integrity, honour, love, understanding, healthy boundaries, wisdom and a good solid foundation of a family.
This proceeded to be identified as establishing a relationship called “marriage”. To achieve this, a couple would come together and proceed with an agreement to move into “matrimonial action.”
Family is an expression of values where the couple expresses and agrees with vital characteristics they wish to live with and values they wish to live by. It is a commitment based on a framework of emotional solidarity.
Having a unit referred to as a family is a close-knit community comprising the foundation of the family, the parents, then the children, each with mutual respect, support/solidarity, and a sense of unity. The belonging, the strength through love, giving and supporting each other through love, support, nurturing, understanding, and encouraging character building.
In the twentieth century, things began to change, and the pressures of society introduced a decay in what was known as family and were watered down to a family based on perception with floors. People began to struggle with identifying their role within society and even their role within the family.
As a couple comes together, they decide to unify and create a family, when a family is established as a couple, they come together as two individuals with possible conflict and discrepancy accompanied by different opinions on how a family should be. There is optimism, discrepancy, pessimism, and the establishing of what will work and what won’t within the family. Many forget that it is a unit and compromising is a must without losing themselves, mutual respect and understanding.
The test is to break free from the ingrained programming when living with parents and making a fresh new start with the love of your life, allowing yourself to be is allowing freedom of expression. To be is about allowing yourself to grow within your life and let go of the past that no longer serves you. Letting go allows one the opportunity to grow, to mature, to know and understand what works for you.
Emotional intelligence, maturity, compassion, unconditional love, healthy boundaries, and having filters is something we learn through our parents and what works for us as individuals. One person’s view/perception may not be what a couple wishes to embrace or utilise. Being open to change is allowing the changes to unfold. For a couple to evolve and become their own unit as one, the art of expressive creativity unique to both members within the new family unit is vital.
When there is an extramarital parent within a child’s life, the child may struggle to feel complete in their familial life. For the child to have the ability to overcome problems they may encounter within their life path as they mature in age is solely dependent on the understanding shown to them.
With the variation of older family traditions to the modern family dynamics, parents today focus their attention on financial and emotional sources and their energy output on raising their children. A woman who has become a wife and a mother has responsibilities for her role and contributions to the family. Being a parent is highly taxing on energy resources. It requires patience, understanding and balance. It is not something you have set rules to or can get a degree on. Each child is unique and special, requiring love, guidance, and nurturing.
Having a child out of wedlock or bearing a child through sperm banks changes how men and women perceive life, relationships, marriage and being a parent. This paves the way for parenting to have lost its relationship to connecting to a deeper emotional understanding and precious love connectivity as a parent, there is limited if any association to marriage. The child is a product of the parent/s, if a parent is disconnected or disassociated from bonding, the child can only be that towards the parent, to themselves and to their understanding of relationships and intimacy.
The evidence and most dramatic changes affecting a child are divorces and the way the divorce unfolds causes drastic changes to the stability and surroundings of a child. This can be very damaging to a child.
How parents deal with divorce should be realised and accepted. Parents need to move on while being considerate and mindful at all times of the child’s emotional and mental wellbeing. To be most considerate as to how the child feels is going to relate to the death of the old way as they knew it and allow them to accept the new way of life.
Parents are 100% responsible for their children. Parents need to take responsibility and defend their children from the trauma and shock of divorce. Parents should always individually and collectively make their child a priority in having their best interests at heart without spoiling and damaging the child.
Currently, humanity has lost its connection to love and compassion as they are moving away from the love that family represents. What a family yearns for has been watered down and lost. Love is a frequency of achievement, expansion, progress, success, and evolution, but then love ceases to exist and there is no life; only technological thinking. Balance is about technology, the artificial world and the real world. Bringing balance into life and self allows one to evolve themselves and their relationships with others. Love is about living authentically.
We can observe through the decades parenthood has moved far away from the traditional association with marriage, and the value system of marriage has decayed. Children have a lesser understanding of the values of the traditional understanding of what a family represents as we observe the rapid increase in the divorce rate.
If one looks at the survey on the divorce rate over the last few years, it is on the rise. There are 4 out of 10 children living with one parent, and single-parent homes are very common. Amongst many countries, several European countries, Turkey is one of the countries that has indicated a high increase in the divorce rate.
Divorce has been instigated by the social and economic factors shaking the foundation of the family unit, accompanied by the relationship between parent and child. Divorce is a blow to the self-confidence and self-respect of both female and male relationships. It affects all involved be it initiating the divorce or being the receiver. An emptiness is experienced due to the separation.
While we know that divorce greatly impacts the whole family unit, it’s important to note that the damage is not irreparable. Through soul work, and effort, each affected family member can find healing and grow from the experience.
I’d love to be a part of your healing journey. With my wisdom and your determination, we can develop the systems and solutions that empower you to live your life authentically. Take the brave step to book your appointment today.